Well, well, well. Down to the dregs of summer, are we? I spent all last week (which was my birthday, thank you very much) road-tripping around the French countryside with my friend Sadie. As a Leo, I feel COMPLICATED about my birthday and alternate between throwing huge parties and essentially going on the lam to avoid what I have decided is my god-given responsibility to throw huge parties. Prior to this vacation, I was experiencing an “Eating Candy at the End of the World” sensation: anxiously snatching at whatever pleasure I could, unaware of the next moment to properly enjoy. The only known cure for this is powering down, finishing a couple books, dunking yourself in the ocean, and holding your breath. And now that I am over that Hump, I feel compelled to open up my DMs and answer any questions that people have…
@ioeylim asks: What contradictions in your life have you made peace with?
I do not feel peaceful!!! I want my cake, I want it to be chocolate cake, I want to eat it, AND I want to share a slice with everyone.
@lydiamckimm asks: I’ve been seeking advice from cool self-possessed women on how to become less of a stranger to your desires, more generally than sexually speaking!
Much of desire is a lot about finding space to daydream. If there was nothing, what would you create? If you were suspended in space, what would you want? If child you saw yourself now, what would they think? If you had a really sick graphic shirt, what would be on it? To speak elliptically for a moment: To be less of a stranger to your desires, you must be less of a stranger to yourself.
@dianaafonte asks: Do you think it’s possible to work a job you like and make a livable wage in NYC? What does it take? Public humiliation, pimping one’s mind out, no sleep, etc.?
In times of confusion, ref back to the holy scriptures: Sex and The City, specifically. “In New York, they say you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.” I think there’s a similar message here: Work a job you like in NYC and deal with public humiliation, low paychecks, sleepless nights, striving, all for the hope that one day it will be worthwhile, with the cliff of despair looming on the other side that maybe it won’t. Or maybe you really like finance, and in that case, congratulations high roller.
@lalalovemonster2011 asks: Please say one cute sneaker for the office.
I personally don’t wear sneakers. I’ve flattened the bridge of my foot to such an extent that the only thing comfortable is a ballet flat or boot. That said, I like these Nike Air Rifts. Can’t go wrong with Asics.
@annapei asks: What object/accessory/feature(s) makes you feel most like you? Most confident? Most attractive? Not advice but curious your answer and how it might help others to find this niche.
There is a whole category I’ve dubbed my evergreen objects—things I put on that consistently make me feel strong. Jewelry (a silver bracelet from an Argentine designer, my grandmother’s wedding ring), perfume (Freckled and Beautiful), and lipstick (Benetint).
A question from a follower who would like to remain anonymous: Should I quit my job?
Yes! You are a smart, beautiful, sensational woman who is skilled at reinvention and world-building. They don’t deserve you.
@saturnhorse asks: Where to look when the subway screeches to a halt and all the ads are indecipherable AI code boy slop so u can’t look at the ads and there’s no service on your phone.
Great question Saturn, horse! This is a perfect time to organize your photo albums. I’m sure you have so many duplicate photos and are constantly buying more storage when instead you should just delete photos you don’t care about. The easiest place to start is “screenshots.” You don’t need that photo of a photo. Delete it. Personally, my photo albums are very organized. I have dozens of hyper-specific albums I’ve made on commutes over the years, diligently labeled “taxes,” “boyfriend,” “author photos,” “scary medical records,” and even “family secrets.”
@beazlevy asks: Do we think there will be another wave of “body positivity” or is it just skinny again for the foreseeable future? Are the dolls sufficiently protected in the fashion world or is another T-shirt needed?
Ugh, the creep fest of the Ozempidemic. What are we doing!!!!! I think the pendulum will swing back and there will be another big to-do about all the things that we should already be to do-ing. It isn’t enough, and the dolls will never be sufficiently protected in the fashion world if they’re not sufficiently protected in the world writ large.
An answer from stylish girl @niktakhani to the question: What are you back-to-school shopping?
Candies’ suede clogs. Bratz doll fantasy reimagined.
A special pillow to prevent side sleeping/promote back sleeping. Need to retain my fat pads.
White noise machine. I have professional upstairs neighbors but also need to make a 7.30 a.m. workout.
White mesh canopy for my bedroom setup. I had one age 10, which was also the age I discovered Elizabeth Taylor’s Cleopatra. I now have a birchwood Japanese platform bed, and it surprisingly works well with a canopy!!
Botox injections for my pits (I hate deodorant)
Yerba mate and otherwise caffeinated teas. Azealia Banks was right about coffee drinkers having hot breath and anger. Also, a tenant of traditional Chinese medicine.
@cinnamndoll asks: Do you accept pitches for the Substack or is it faculty-ran only?
We do accept pitches! Nicolaia.rips@i-d.co
@spaaaah asks: When are we going live?
Next week??
This Sophie Haigney piece on the fantastical and poisonously colored, caffeinated beverages taking over the nation. Scrummy.
Marlowe Grandos rightfully being acknowledged the Queen of Canada. Drake should write a song about her.
Reading about King Baldwin the Leper and his traitorous sister Sybilla.
I went to the best store in the world (Maison Empereur in Marseille) and bought a new rose perfume, an embroidered lingerie bag that says “lingerie,” a portable yogurt cup, a little napkin for my purse to stash snacks in, and a stamp for letter writing. And as presents: clementine liqueur, four blocks of fragrant Marseille soap, a soap carrier made of hard plastic, a special toothpaste, a small spoon, chestnut cream, and mustard from Dijon.
The advice column i have dreamed of
daydream refresher