My Holiday Rot List
and other braindead content.
In Scotland, where I’m from, people shout the phrase: “I’m burst!” To be “burst” is to be depleted of all energy. Nothing left. Don’t talk to me. That kind of vibe. Today, the day after Christmas, is prime “burst” territory. Nothing feels better than doing nothing, killing time with crap on TV. It’s a day that doesn’t count, so you can do whatever you want with it.
I’ve held off doing a Best of the Year list, which feels like standard practice for culture magazines—until you realize we’ve pretty much all watched exactly the same things. Yes, One Battle After Another rocks. Marty Supreme? Yeah it’s great! I’m not sure how useful it is to rank these things, or to tell you how good they are. If you’re reading this I trust you have one foot in this world already.
Also, half of the time, the best movies of the year require real attention, which I imagine you do not have today. These are rotting hours, baby! You’re burst. Don’t forget it.
Anything on YouTube, in my opinion, is built for background watching. The YouTube channel Defunctland has released a four-hour documentary on a short-lived time in Disneyland’s history where they trialled free roaming animatronic characters that interacted with guests. It flopped. I like people who are so passionate about their niche that everyone else starts to give a shit about them. The doc has over 3 million views already.
If you’re going to lock in to anything *good* it needs to be shocking enough to hold your attention. The BBC TV show from earlier this year, What It Feels Like For a Girl, is a smart dramedy wrapped in a coating of real bitchiness and sexual bravado. It’s about a gobby teenager in Nottingham, England discovering their queerness in the time before they transition. Not one to stick on with your parents in the room, but you’ll swallow it whole in one sitting.
I almost exclusively watch 24 Hours in Police Custody when I come back to Scotland, usually with my dad and my brother. ACAB and all, but my life doesn’t involve dealing drugs nor many run-ins with law enforcement, so it feels like an escape to watch people try and play dumb about their metric ton of crystal meth in their suitcase they know nothing about. It airs on Channel 4 in the UK—do other countries have it? Any similar-sounding alternatives? Leave a comment.
We beat on the algorithm for knowing us too well, but I will say that I often prefer 90 minutes of Reels (specifically Reels!) over a 90 minute movie. I know it makes me sound like a moron but it’s the best answer to the “What shall I watch?” question, because it always has the right answer. Recent things I’ve discovered include a company that restores beat-up vintage posters.
And if all else fails, there’s nothing better than schadenfreude, like watching Nicki Minaj torpedo her goodwill with any brain cell-rich Barb by aligning herself with Trump. She sat down with Erika Kirk at a Turning Point event and called JD Vance an “assassin.”
Since we’re in list mode, can we talk about the hilarious reaction to this Top 100 Gay Films list, compiled by @gayfilmsmatter? It went semi-viral for being so fabulously tone deaf in a way that is becoming of most white homosexual men. Red, White and Royal Blue cracked the top five while Moonlight loitered far back in the number 18 spot—the only film on the whole list featuring a Black protagonist.
Subjectivity is incredible, because it makes space for lists like this that are so poorly misjudged they almost feel like intentional ragebait. If it was, we all bit. Shout out @gayfilmsmatter for compiling a list so unhinged it made me ask myself: Do they? Do they really?
Kawaguchi Koto is the guy in Marty Supreme who sets the whole story in motion. He plays Endo, the tennis table player who thrashes Marty and makes him hellbent on revenge. He’s not spoken much about the movie yet, but I hopped on a call with him earlier this week and asked him about what it’s like to go toe-to-toe with our greatest moviestar. You can read it here.
This section is typically reserved for famous people, and we shall return to normal programming in 2026. Right now, I’m back home and the person I’ve seen the most is the man who half-brought me into this universe: my dad. Last Christmas I forced him and my brother to watch Wicked: Part One in the cinema, despite neither of them knowing what or how long it was. (It got a thumbs down from both parties.) The heating in the house only goes on when I come home. I can’t drive so he willingly chauffeurs me to grocery stores. He is the most persevering man I have ever met.
As a man of such selfless nature, I asked: You don’t care about receiving gifts. What’s the best gift you think you can give someone at Christmas?
He said:
“Love, peace, and happiness. Or a gift card.”
Amanda Seyfried rocks in The Testament of Ann Lee, but has anyone—particularly a Brit—asked her why her Instagram handle is @mingey?
My sister texted me three times to watch The Quiet Girl, which I haven’t seen yet, if you want a recommendation from someone you likely do not know.
Random eBay thing I want: an inflatable Austin Powers chair.
I’m off to Bratislava in a couple of days for work reasons. All shall be revealed in 2026.
What’s your New Year’s Eve plans? If you’re having a party in London can me and my mates come? I don’t want anyone being sick on the rug in my flat. Ly xx
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Oh wow, Bratislava being mentioned