i-Diary 09: I’m taking up improv

Shouldn’t everyone have a hobby?

New Year’s resolutions don’t start January 1st. They don’t start December 25th either. The actual moment that the countdown begins on becoming a whole new you is when, at the Thanksgiving table , a relative asks you about your life. Something innocent like, “How’s work?” or, “Are you still dating so-and-so?” Evil feelings, stirred from the amount of pie you’ve consumed and the sinisterness of the holiday itself, take over. Suddenly, you’re fighting about Eric Adams, yelling about how you get 10-12 emails everyday inviting you to different openings of the can (really inane emails like ZARA DUBAI INVITES YOU AND A LOVED ONE TO CHECK OUT THE NEW TEN STORY MEGA MALL), and contemplating breaking up with so-and-so. You don’t know how you got here (it’s your family after all!), but it may be time to start re-evaluate your life.

Here’s what happened to me:

Every Thanksgiving I go to Chicago to see my academic relatives and stay in the “Bertha Mason room,” a monastic attic bedroom housing a twin bed with a tartan quilt, a stationary bike, a small frightening door, and Wagner’s entire Ring Cycle on CD. While prone, attempting not to think about the door and what could possibly be on the other side, I was treated to all sorts of tense thoughts: the classics (What am I doing with my life? Why is the world falling apart?) but also some new ones like, do I have a neck hump? and why don’t I have a single hobby? This hobby problem, or lack thereof, has come at me before when I was scouted and swiftly rejected from a curve modeling agency.

True hobbies, while a great way to develop yourself without the pressure of perfection, are few and far between in today’s gig economy where you’re supposed to monetize everything you do, from knitting to amateur baking. This time, in a fit of small door induced sleeplessness, I booked an eight week 7-10pm improv class. Problem? I hate improv. I think everybody should go sit in a room and write their jokes, edit them, practice them, and then come out to perform. My curmudgeonliness has resulted in nearly debilitating stage-fright that I now hope to cure with a diet of beta blockers, ashwagandha, and a weekly three hour class where I play Zip Zap Zop and try not to have a heart attack. Anyway, might I suggest getting a hobby?

Dancers on Shoes

It’s holiday party season! Cocktails, shindigs, hours on your feet, dancing, shimmying, slinking, and, of course, hobbling home in the morning (recently I acquired a pair of Dolce Vita slingbacks with a big pouf in the center that I wore dancing till 5 a.m.!!! And no blisters!!!). In times like these it’s important to consult a professional. I asked the coolest dancers (if you’re not up yet on the world of Pageant and Sharleen Chidiac, I’m excited for you) around about their favorite dancing shoes.

Sharleen Chidiac (34, NYC)

“These are my go-to heels, I wear them every time I perform with my band Voyeur. They are nearly impossible to dance in and make my feet numb but I love the challenge.”

Benin Gardner (26, NYC)

“I think I shoplifted these, they’re Argentinian tango shoes. Very libidinal and make me feel like I could do anything.”

Pei Pei Warth Wu (25, NYC)

“My Prada America’s Cups which have been through a lot but are the comfiest shoes I own (running shoes etc. considered). I like the patent leather. My actual dance shoes which I do wear out and about when I need comfy heels. They have suede on the soles and I def shouldn’t wear them outside but they are the best. Made by a company called Merlet.”

Iliana Penit-Ramírez (27, NYC)

“My favorite dancing shoe has to be these black Nike AF1s. This pair I got on a tour and have danced in them in about 100 shows thereafter. They’ve been with me on stages around the globe, so it has to be the #1 by default in terms of time spent dancing. You can see some baby powder residue still on the bottom because I powder my shoes before going onstage.”

Evan Sagadecky (26, Currently on tour with Lorde)

“These are my GH Bass’s. If I’m going dancing I’m pretty much always wearing these. I love them with a baggy, super casual look. They’re timeless and just adorable. They get a bit of a slide on the sole which is a nice touch on the dance floor. I’ve had to re-sole them, but they’re perfect.”

Clara Kim (25, NYC)

“I am perfected by these Bloch split sole dance sneakers I got on eBay. Rehearsal, errands, out—doesn’t matter: When I wear them I feel like I can break out in dance any place, for any reason.”

Shade Théret (31, Berlin)

“In these shoes I can thrash and stumble, and still look elegant as hell. They’re called Rainbow Club.”

Tim Bendernagel (30, New York)

“My Salomon XT-6 in Black & Phantom. Trendy as hell but worth the hype. They’re basically the street shoe equivalent of Bloch’s split sole dance sneaker (IYKYK). A perfect balance of support and flexibility. I’ve clearly worn mine into the ground. I walk all over the city in them, I go out dancing in them, I’ve even danced on stage in them!”

Aimee Grumbach (27, NYC)

“I wore these shox for almost every show on the SWEAT tour when I was dancing for Shygirl. They’re my go to sneaker still and they hold so many memories of all the stages around the country that I got to dance on.”

---

Finally if you’re still here, something practical: Where to put shoes in a tiny apartment?

Speaking of shoes yesterday I stumbled over my last shoe! I can’t go on like this, I can’t! The entryway to my apartment is actually anatomically smaller than the average New York doorway is meant to be (I found this out when I bought a dining room table and it would not fit through the door unless I sawed off a leg. I ultimately had to return it. A blow.) I also have only one closet that’s in such a frightening state I have a hard time opening it. I posted on my Instagram story last night begging for solutions. Here are the best ones for everyone who wants to know:

• The overwhelming winner was these slim Ikea cupboards. An outstanding quantity (like ten??) chic fashionable women recommended these. My friend Vita said “They are really low profile visually.” Sara McAlpine said, “You can squeeze A LOT in if you’re determined.” Sophia Boli said, “I have one of these narrow things that flip out things in my hall from IKEA and also half of under my bed is just shoes in boxes. I keep all the boxes bc they’re easier to store under the bed.”

• Several people recommended bookshelves of various type. Abby Morgan Lebet said Ikea bookshelves, Clara said barrister bookshelves (multiple rows of shoes every level that can be found on marketplace. I think this is a chic solution), Ari (a very serious fashion collector) has a bookcase IN her closet solely for shoes.

• Both Brooke Starkey and Sasha Mutchnik recommended the Carrie Bradshaw way, aka “the cabinets, the freezer, the oven.”

• Cameron Cummings recommended suspending them from the ceiling on metal shelves.

  

• Taylore said “I like to stack them on a dollar store rack until it inevitably breaks and then pile everything up into a mountain of leather that takes up the entirety of my closet floor.” Thank you, that’s what I’m already doing. Next!

• One of the most beautiful girls I know photographs and stacks all of her shoe boxes with the polaroid outside on top of her closet. She calls it “a hobby.”

• If you have an available back of door (I have cursed sliding closet doors) two people recommended an over the door shoe hanger.

• If you have space in your closet someone said this.

• Bolt Brown suggested building something fab.

• Jessica Neises said to look up “wooden cubby” on FB marketplace.