i-Diary 10: Hot girls MUST write
In defense of the diary.
Girl writers, Lit Girls, Hot Girl who writes occasionally, snooze, yawn, snore, I’m so tired of this conversation I’m turning into Rips Van Winkle over here!
Every now and again the overwrought brodernist idea makes its way from the manosphere into my own little life, to which I say finally: Whatever!!!! The hot girl who writes occasionally is the backbone of the internet! Remove her and all you have left are gooners, sex bots, ASMRtists, and movies broken into 30-minute long TikToks that have robot voiceovers. Besides, if you feel a throb at the temples forcing you to read Charli xcx’s new substack entry, consider that the gun is attached to your own hand.
First there’s the urge to dismiss diaries as a feminine form. At moments in history when women weren’t taken seriously writ large, the diary was a place to confide, record, and experiment. Diaries have provided safekeeping for secrets: Diarist Anne Lister of Shibden Hall (1791-1840) used code in her journals to record her feelings for other women. Frankly, I don’t think that the current indulgence in blogging is anything to write home about. Before Substack we had Tumblr, before Tumblr we had, what, LiveJournal? Before LiveJournal, we had MySpace. We have diaries dating back to the Babylonians, we have Ancient Greek hypomnemata (roughly translated to memoranda), we have Sei Shōnagon’s the Pillow Book about court life in Heian Japan, and don’t get me started on the Victorians! On the 27th of January, 1835 the 15-year-old Victoria, heir to the throne of England, wrote, “I love to be employed; I hate to be idle.”
Inside The Paris Review’s winter 2025 issue are a series of unpublished Eve Babitz diaries from a point in her life when she was in the middle of actualizing. The editors write: “She was twenty-six years old and working as a collage artist, having designed album covers for bands like Buffalo Springfield and the Byrds…. Excerpted here and lightly edited, it is in part an account of her self-transformation into a writer.”
That’s what I love about the substacks and diaries I read, that I get to witness a moment of becoming.
This past weekend the December party season kicked off (unfortunately for the Sagittariuses among us, any party in December is a Holiday party). So far I’ve partied at a really serious Malaysian restaurant in the East Village, sipped Perrier chilled in a bathtub in an Upper East Side apartment, and hung out with Sam Hine and Alex Vadukul four nights in a row. Here is what I will be stealing for future shindigs from my gracious hosts:
Marisa Meltzer filled her bathtub with ice and bottles for chilling. I learned this was a party staple. I loved it. She also roamed the party with a bottle of white wine, making sure nobody’s glass was ever fully drained.
Emily Sundberg sent her guests home with a bagel for the next day, a mug for coffee, and hangover supplements. Elegant! Thoughtful! Also my favorite outfit/accessory of the week was Jessica Testa’s chic double vessel necklaces: one Elsa Peretti, one a small satchel. The divine feminine is all around us.
My boyfriend made three apple galettes for his holiday party. It was very easy (you can use store bought frozen pastry if you’re lazy), and a huge hit. I think more parties should be dessert and cocktails only!
At REDACTED’s party, he had a big pot of boeuf bourguignon simmering, and massive baguettes stationed around the apartment. Also easy but warm and wonderful.
Chris Black’s party for his new brand Hanover started at a whopping 10 p.m.. On Puck’s “Fashion People” Black helpfully suggested,“Maybe you get a babysitter, maybe you get a bag of cocaine?
Kaitlin Phillips’ Gift Guide aka The Only Gift Guide Worth Its Salt. I love reading Kaitlin’s yearly guide because it’s on Google Docs, and also because she gets that typically the most interesting thing about a gift is the person giving it. My parents weighed in, recommending, “You go to the 25th Street Flea Market, between Broadway and 6th Avenue. Michael, who is literally a flea market expert, says, ‘In the northwest corner of the market, Mamadou Diop sells traditional, handmade cloths from West Africa. The patterns, textures, and dimensions vary according to the tribes from which the cloths originate. The tribes include (among others) the Mossi from Burkina Faso, Baule from the Ivory Coast, and Dogon from Mali. The advantage of these cloths is that in addition to their beauty they are versatile: which is to say, they can be used by women and men, as scarves, beach towels, throws, or skirts, or framed and hung on the wall. The cloths sold by Mamadou are made with natural indigo and often feature patterns of religious significance.” Sheila says, ‘At that same flea market, if you want to expand outside of West Africa, Mahamadou Diop, Mamadou’s brother, is right next door. Mahamadou sells an array of objects coming from who knows where. This last visit I found a signed Chinese ginger spice jar from the 18th century, which goes with nothing I own and is staring at me now. And my husband, Michael, found Master Drawings, The Art Institute of Chicago. I never go there looking for something, yet I always find a treasure and I promise, you will too. And then, of course, you get to meet the Diop brothers…’”
Oxford World Classic’s Hardback. These can be found for under ten bucks apiece on Thriftbooks and Abebooks. They are small enough to fit in your pocket or purse. The only things I bought on Black Friday were an edition of Anna Karenina and Great Expectations, two books, embarrassingly enough, I haven’t read yet, and a mandolin.
’80s party dresses on eBay. I’m already kicking myself that I didn’t buy a couple but I’m putting myself on notice until I clean out my closet!
Imagine wearing this to a cocktail party
Squint and it’s last seasons Versace (I have terrible eyesight)
You had me at tear away bridesmaids dress
Phở Gà Vàng. Best chicken pho I’ve had in my life. A humble but delicious spot near the bridge.
Wim Hof breathing. It works.
Napkin Origami. Shockingly easy to learn, and impressive in a “you have a lot of time on your hands” way. Might I recommend, napkin swan?
Winter MFK Fisher: this substack by Ruth Reichl about profiling MFK Fisher.
In all earnestness, I am currently writing something on 21st century dating, so if you have a hot tip about a dating event (speed dating, a blind set up that YOU are going on) in New York in the next week, hit me up. Everybody knows that dating is better when there’s a journalist also there.
Is substack a nature preserve for hot girls who write occasionally?
We MUST